how do you like them apples?

today is a nothing day.

woke up, had breakfast, read the sunday paper, trolled through the blogroll, did some laundry.

i'm half watching good will hunting on a & e right now. i love this movie. will hunting's character is a year younger than me in the movie. not that that's significant, but it seems like it might be.

the temperature is getting cooler. fall's on the way. this is the last weekend of summer as labour day is traditionally accepted as the final nail in the coffin. my labour day plans are always the same. it's usually a few days before or around my birthday so it's tiaras and buttercream icing for me. mark has been sneaking around on the phone quite a bit lately like he's got some big plan in the works.

(i hope it's lipo)

reality never looked so good in a tie

man.

my birthday is in less than two weeks. twelve days to be exact. it has me thinking about what i've accomplished this year (nothing) and the goals that i've set for myself (none) and how i'll try to achieve them over the next 12 months (i won't).

i was planning on going back to glendon this september, but now i'm not. i'm just not prepared for it yet. everyone keeps telling me to take my time, but at the same time that they're saying it, they have this look in their eyes that screams 'you're going nowhere, babe'. so i'm just taking my time at going nowhere. how fabulous is that? i guess i've always lacked a certain tenacity and it's been showing more and more.

people often tell me that i live in a dreamland. and it's true. i like to think that things work out on their own. be it true or fantasy. all the while, i'm just biding my time. just waiting for my great escape.

in twelve days i'll be 22. twelve months after that i'll be 23. and then in twelve years i'll be 35. maybe by then i'll be somwhere.

close the light and don't forget, i love you till the end.

tonight i watched the rules of attraction.

the last time i saw it, i was still living in residence. or rather, living down residence. i was never more unhappy or undone as i was in those last few months that i spent there. it's crazy how it was supposed to be this freeing experience where i'd make all these fantastic friends and memories and it just turned into a series of equally painful and humiliating events that continue to drive me insane. i guess it was mostly okay in the beginning, but by the end of january i was failing everything due to an increase in skipping class to stay in my room, and getting drunk alone by the freezing cold window which was never shut so i wouldn't get caught chainsmoking. dropping out was essentially an afterthought as i'm pretty sure they would have kicked me out anyway.

as i said, it wasn't all bad. i met some cool people. and also some souless ones.

well.

one souless one. who never ceases to continue destroying me. who stood in my room and told me that he was a piece of shit who couldn't deal instead of just coming clean about how he wanted to fuck as many girls as possible before freshman year was out.

oops.

i'm sure i'll hear about that one.

and in the meantime...

when are you going to stop caving in the ceiling on me?

fucking dawson.

i'm a one gun army got a mouthpiece on me

take a seat, window view, what's it feel like to always choose to be brave

cool story.
about a month ago, i was at raymi the minx's blog and i was reading some older entries when i happened upon one that mentioned an artist named Natasha Alexandra. "it's toronto's loss and new york's gain". she's a canadian musician with piano-based songs that made the move to nyc some months ago.

so i visited her site to listen to her music and she's awesome. i figured i might find her cd at some indie record store if i looked around, but no luck. so i looked up the contact info on her site and emailed about how to get a cd. she was in town that day to play a show at the drake hotel in toronto. i was working a closing shift at the bar, so i explained that i couldn't go and her response:

'i'll come and drop it off where you work'

how cool is that?

a week later, i have the cd (titled, "in your face") and it's excellent. everyone needs to go to www.natashaalexandra.com, listen, learn, email her about a cd and be changed.

on a completely unrelated side note: i got stung by a bee at the west town golf tournament yesterday. i'm not allergic- but now it's ridiculously swollen and itchy/painful all at once. since i haven't been stung by a bee in about ten years, i don't know what the protocol is. any suggestions?

to itchycoo park, that's where i've been

well i don't know where the hell itchycoo park is, but if it's as beautiful as the small faces say, then i want to go immediately.

?

basically i've been listening to abbey road all day with a little sidecar of skynyrd, the allman bros and dylan. it makes me feel a little sad that i'm too young to have experienced any of it in real time. my mom was kind of a hippy- and when i flip through her yearbooks i think it would have been cool to be in highschool with her and see her how she was before she became so tall in my eyes.

i used to have a red t-shirt with the abbey road cover on it but i stopped wearing it after a while because of the slack i got from older folks telling me that i didn't know jack shit about the beatles and blah blah john lennon was shot before i was born blah blah i was just doing it to look cool blah blah fucking blah. who knew you needed credentials to like a band?

music snobs make me batty.

even though i kinda am one.

ah well.

while my guitar gently weeps is my favourite beatles song.

you?

he is the walrus, coo coo cachoo

check your inner asshole at the door, pleaze

loz from oz sez it's time for a new post.

loz from oz who pratically abandonned us all during her move over some lack of internet connection b.s (hello, internet cafes!) sez it's time for a new post.

just for the record, i was going to write one today anyway.

today's post is about texas hold'em poker. these days, i feel like everywhere i turn, a group of assholes have a game on the go. I guess there's nothing wrong with the game itself, my issue is with the people who take it a touch too seriously. Mark and I went to a poker party on the weekend and there were a few people there who refused to drink (losers) and wouldn't let anyone else buy into the game after it started. On top of that, they sat there with their bitter, fucking, jackoff faces cuz they were losing to all the rest of the retardedly polluted people at the table. they also upped the buy-in to $20. why? cuz they're losers and thought they'd hustle all of their innocent drunken friends. then when it came time to split the pot, they still took 40%. of course no one realized, because we'd all done shots of vodka. it was ridiculous.

that's my beef for the day. it's a card game. AND, it's hamilton, not fucking vegas. average losers who act like they're the ken jennings of texas hold'em just fucken annoy everyone else and suck the fun out of the evening harder than jenna jameson.

that is all.

oh yeah, in other news. mark thinks i'm turning into a lush. he's threatening to lock me up like kirsten from the o.c. more on that later.

swf, likes long walks and hard cocks, seeking swm preferably rich and stupid 18-75, for romance maybe more

here's something people may not know about me:

i subscribe to the newspaper.

every morning when i wake up, i put a pot of coffee on and read the whole paper (except spots cuz i don't give a shit). on of my favourite sections is the classifieds. i read the personal ads all the time because i think it's the most entertaining thing in print.

the things that people choose to put in their personal ads is so vapid and cliche that i don't know how they can possibly expect someone to respond.

here's an example from today's paper:

come fly with me
good-looking, stylish, classy sexy, fun sinatra style SM, 49, seeks shapely passionate, kind-hearted woman for romance, love and laughter, slightly overweight and older ok.

(and this next one is my favourite...smell the desperation)

complete my life
swf, 34, average build, marriage-minded, n/s, devoted christian, likes to go on long walks, seeks swm, 32-37, n/s, who will love me and my children.

the best part about the ads is how they're all exactly the same. everyone is outgoing, well-built, likes movies, dinner, fine wine and long walks on the fucken beach. the other thing that turns up constantly is 'seeking honesty' even though none of them are honest about the ads. it's got me thinking about what my personal ad would be if i were single. maybe i'll run it next week and see who responds.

size matters
SWF, 22, introverted writer/unsuccessful student, smoker, drinker seeking SWM, 20-50 for brief physical connection. fatties need not reply.

at least i'm honest.

what would your personal ad be?

self portrait

achtung, baby

my dinner party last night was wicked.

however

intruiging conversation plus alcohol equals i forgot to take any photos. oops.

ok so it probably had more to do with the alcohol than the conversation. whatev.

it was cool to see my h.s friend victoria again. i haven't seen her in forever so it was a nice little bonus. for dinner i served tortellini soup with white wine and tomato, bocconcini with proscuitto and marinated tomato, stuffed pasta shells, bread, salad and for dessert i made chocolate amaretti cake. yeah that's right friends, i found a way to incorporate those cookies into almost everything.

today i had a shit load of dishes piled practially everywhere from the party and that sort of helped encourage me to go to water aerobics with emily. i needed an escape from that seemingly endless mess. water aerobics is a blast. everyone in the class is at least a hundred years old and if they're lucky none of them have good eyesight because the only bathing suit that i have is a bikini. and it's one that i bought back in the day when i was skinny so let's just say that it's about the sickest thing you've ever seen- only i'm so apathetic about the weight now that i hardly give a shit anymore. i tell people that i'm doing the water aerobics to lose weight, but mostly it's just cuz the o.c season finale was tonight and now there's nothing to do on thursday nights anymore.

peace.

giggly girls + booze + camera = recipe for disaster

i'm hosting a dinner party tonight at my apartment. i have them on somwhat of a regular basis as i love to cook/hostess- plus i'm a total attention whore. it's been in the works for about a week, but as per my usual- i've left everything to the last minute.

therefore, instead of my usual lazy day off where i sit around on the couch in my underwear watching e true hollywood story- i'll actually be venturing outside the apartment to purchase necessities like groceries and booze.

of course since i'm such a lucky duck, it's hotter than a dog's balls out right now and the weather man is threatening worse.

dammit.

i need a fucken car.

oh, and i'll try to remember to take lots of glorious pictures tonight so you'll have something to feast your eyes on tomorrow on 'day-off no.2' whilst i'm sleeping off the drunk of 'day-off no.1'.

cheers.

lights will guide you home and ignite your bones and i will try to fix you

oh man.

i am wickedly addicted to nestle baci ice cream right now. i bought a tub of it yesterday and have been eating it non-stop since then. i didn't think that anything could replace my retarded obsession with amaretti cookies but i think it's safe to say that i've moved on now.

on top of that i have a new music fixation. during my much music marathon yesterday i saw the video for fix you by coldplay and now it's spinning non-stop in my player.

go watch it. now. i'm serious- do it.

but hypocrite is such a STRONG word....

so yesterday was sickeningly hot.

i tried to make dinner, i really did.

when mark came home at 6 he found me sitting on the floor in front of the fan in my apron.

we decided to do take-out.

i was about to make the call when i heard a knockity-knock at the door.

i looked through the peek-hole.

it was my mom.

with this


shocking, i know, especially considering this

but i'm cool as a cucumber

my tv is stuck on suck

oh man.

i have the day off today, so naturally i've spent it sitting on the couch in my underwear watching much music and drinking lemonade from concentrate, getting up only to check my email or smoke a cigarette.

i just watched green day's new video for wake me up when september ends and let me just say this:

it's fucken ghey.

i decided maybe i would boycott much music for today and leave my apartment in a vain search for more amaretti cookies, but then this rad video by stars came on and i just couldn't tear myself away.

i just wrote a blog about music videos.

this day is officially lame.

me want cookies

la cucina mia

Yesterday I spent the morning in my kitchen making mini chocolate cakes filled with blackberry whipped cream and topped with chocolate icing, mint and berries.

And if that didn't make me feel ultra-italian enough, I also ate an entire bag of amaretti cookies. I should be feeling guilty about that, but instead I just want more cookies.

Damn those gloriously delicious cookies. Damn them all to hell.


the fru-its of the de-vil