Monday, January 08, 2007

i'm like harriet the spy


several months ago i thought it would be fun to post a profile on one of those endlessly entertaining dating sites. the glorious prospect of blog fodder alone was too tempting to pass up and thus, diadima: eco-vixen was born. it was absurdly amusing for a while but then i sort of forgot about it. i checked in again earlier today only to find that my inbox was bursting with every kind of shitty one-liner, each with a varrying grasp of the english language. a few took the time and effort to construct multiple sentences claiming they were charming or animal lovers or adventurous; many mention they're looking for 'friendship first' or 'casual fun' and a few even went so far as include their phone numbers along with the suggestion that if i don't believe i've found my soulmate after browsing through their q&a, then my 'eyes and heart must both be closed to the possibility of true love'.

behold the gem: i call it, 'a letter from borat' or 'let's make a sexytime!'

How are you? I'm Emil from Baku , It's near the Turkey, I'm 27 yearold single man. You are very beautiful, sexy lady , very very beatiful, I like you I would like to be your friend, please if you will get this mail please send me mesege, if you want, I will give more detail about myself, I think I will be happy with you
For me its hard to describe myself But I will try to write something about my character, wishes and so
I love art, and music, and books, and movies, and interesting conversations, and all kinds of other things that you could guess about pretty much everybody...
I am a caring romantic, guy that loves to kiss to hold to touch and love to make love
I am not the best man you ever meet but the most honest and one that will care for you with all of my heart dedicated and loyal
No bad habits, only smoke and only drink about 5-10 times a year.
My friends tell me I'm very friendly, easy-going, handsome and very romantic guy
I live in Baku with my parents,and 2 sisters.
I am now looking for a dear and kind, intelligent, beautiful and sexy Lady for a lifelong partnership in mutual understanding and respect to eachother in which then the words honesty,trust and faithfulness should be as important as the imaginative,tender and variant eroticism without wrong shame and inhibitions.
In our culture marriage means a (life long) relationship/commitement to stay together throught the whole life and I am looking for that.I'm ready to love only my soulmate through my whole life.I also expect same from my furure soulmate. I'm looking for the person having the same characters of mine.I want to have my real partner with all my heart.Like me she should be simple by manner, simple by nature and simple by thinking, having good sence of humore, shy, good looking. She should be Looking for confientail + real friendship or more
I hope you will be my solemate without doubt . Bye, I'm waiting for your letter

i suppose in some ways, i should feel bad about shamlessly posting some poor soul's heartfelt message to me...but for the love of jebus, it was just too money.