he doesn't look a thing like jesus
but he talks like a gentleman
like you imagined when
you were young
today is my last day of work freedom.
starting tomorrow- i won't have another day off until december. in some ways i'm actually looking forward to this as more of a salvation than a prison sentence.
a bit shocking even to me, but you see, for people like me idle hands are the devil's playthings. i have to be consistently focused on doing various tasks to prevent the thing i despise most- being alone with myself. it's a sad to see that in print, but all the same- there it is. i feel that there would be a chance of it becomming less true if i were doing something that i thought was worthwhile. in many ways, it's already beginning. i have benny now- and he's the world to me. it's funny how he gives me so much more than i give him and they ask so little, which is wildly refreshing. i highly reccommend getting a dog to anyone who has the time/funds/inclination.
also i have this greenpeace job now. it starts on tuesday which is equal parts exhilarating and terrifying. exhilarating to be doing something other than polluting people with alcohol and shitty food; but also terrifying because it will require much more of me than polluting people with alcohol and shitty food. work has been a mechanical function for me for so many years now that the prospect of using my brain again is somewhat worrisome. fretting about that is also worrisome- as one might imagine. why would i be worried about using my brain again? mostly because failing when you actually care/try is far worse than failing at a perfect 1/2 inch head on a pint.
it's just that i feel that i'm failing at so many other things at this point in my life that a little success at this could go a long way. so i hope for it. but i try not to hope for it because that always turns out to be exactly the point at which the wheels fall off the wagon. if i could only comfortably explain how applicable that has been in my life. instead, a cliche for your viewing pleasure...
there's a thin line between love and hate
like you imagined when
you were young
today is my last day of work freedom.
starting tomorrow- i won't have another day off until december. in some ways i'm actually looking forward to this as more of a salvation than a prison sentence.
a bit shocking even to me, but you see, for people like me idle hands are the devil's playthings. i have to be consistently focused on doing various tasks to prevent the thing i despise most- being alone with myself. it's a sad to see that in print, but all the same- there it is. i feel that there would be a chance of it becomming less true if i were doing something that i thought was worthwhile. in many ways, it's already beginning. i have benny now- and he's the world to me. it's funny how he gives me so much more than i give him and they ask so little, which is wildly refreshing. i highly reccommend getting a dog to anyone who has the time/funds/inclination.
also i have this greenpeace job now. it starts on tuesday which is equal parts exhilarating and terrifying. exhilarating to be doing something other than polluting people with alcohol and shitty food; but also terrifying because it will require much more of me than polluting people with alcohol and shitty food. work has been a mechanical function for me for so many years now that the prospect of using my brain again is somewhat worrisome. fretting about that is also worrisome- as one might imagine. why would i be worried about using my brain again? mostly because failing when you actually care/try is far worse than failing at a perfect 1/2 inch head on a pint.
it's just that i feel that i'm failing at so many other things at this point in my life that a little success at this could go a long way. so i hope for it. but i try not to hope for it because that always turns out to be exactly the point at which the wheels fall off the wagon. if i could only comfortably explain how applicable that has been in my life. instead, a cliche for your viewing pleasure...
there's a thin line between love and hate
posted by diadima at 7:28 PM
4 Comments:
dude, youre going to be slamming up against whaling ships!
how awesome is that?
so much more pride on the line when you fail at something that you have to think about, know what you mean.
i'm sure the new job will be great though
An even thinner line between love and fear. For what it's worth, you might try reading Chapter 2 (I think it is 2) in the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Old but classic. It might change some things about how you feel about being alone. :-)
(It's the chapter about visualizing the funeral)
robert: it's actually The Sea Shepherds, not GP that slam up against whaling ships. The guy who started Sea Shepherds used to work for Greenpeace which is where the confusion occurs. but he wanted to get more militant (ie. filling the front end of his boat with concrete and slamming whaling ships) and greenpeace is a non-violent group, so he had to part ways.
aaron: thanx!
rrr: i'll look for it.
michael: grazie mille- ti amo sempre anche.
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