Memoirs of a Car Thief, or, The Day I Locked the Keys in the Car and Had to Jimmy the Lock with a Coat Hanger
So I'm back from hiatus. Since I've been moving all week, I decided to take a break from blogging until I was mostly unpacked. Alright, so I didn't give any notice, but the truth is that I'm probably only deluding myself into thinking that people regularly read this blog. So that's that.
They say that life works in mysterious ways...and I have proof. Today, whilst driving around dropping off resumes in the faint hope that someone will call me and give me a job, I was wondering to myself what I could write about in my blog today. Nothing new or exciting has really been going on and I was hoping to possibly break my streak of writing entries about absolutely nothing. Then, just when it seemed that all was lost, I stopped at 1010 Bistro in the Westdale Village to drop off a resume (queue forboding music dun dun dunnn)
So I go inside the bistro and talk to some of the chef staff about available positions and to give them one of my resumes. I then walked outside to get back into my car, and guess what?
No, seriously, guess!
Come on, guess!!
Okay, okay, I couldn't find my keys. Where did they go? Oh, there they are...right in the ignition!! Right where I left them! So I'll just open the door and get into the car and drive off into the sunset, right? Right?
Wrong.
How come?
Because I locked the motherfucking doors, that's why. All the doors. And I made sure I rolled up the windows all nice and tight because it's been raining all day.
Raining?
Fucking right, raining.
Okay, okay, so then I try to think rationally about what to do. I don't have CAA and the GM Roadside Assistance expired in 2002. So I decide to start calling everyone I know to come and help me, starting with Mark. Mark says that he'll phone his dad and ask him to come and get me. No problem. Then Mark calls me back and says, "Ok so my Dad is going to come and get you but he has to eat dinner first. Just sit tight because after he gets there, calls CAA and gets the door open, it could be two or three hours".
Say what?
For the love of Zeus, it's raining!
Just then, I leaned on the driver's side back window and it slid down about a quarter of an inch. I swear, if ever there was a time when a ray of light and voices singing hallelujah was entirely appropriate, this was it. I tried to push it down further, but no dice. So then I went into The Bean Bar and the blessed ladies working there were kind enough to donate a coat hanger. At first, I was a little concerned that people would see me trying to jimmy the lock through the window and get the crazy idea that I was trying to steal the car. As it turns out, I look a lot less 'stealthy car jacker' and a lot more 'desperate victim of her own stupidiy' because a nice Mac student came over to help. With the assisstance of this lovely post-grad, I got the hanger in through the tiny space and flipped the lock open (insert mpeg footage of happy dance here). She most definitely has erased her karmic debt today, wherever she is.
So there you go. They say that life works in mysterious ways. When I woke up this morning, I had nothing to write about my blog. Now, a mere eight hours later, I have an entry filled with suspense and intrigue that includes the full range of emotions: Tears, Anger, Laughter, the works!
Well...for me, anyway.
I'll end this with a point of etiquette:
Do I have to return the coat hanger to The Bean Bar? Seriously, because it's all bent to shit now.
They say that life works in mysterious ways...and I have proof. Today, whilst driving around dropping off resumes in the faint hope that someone will call me and give me a job, I was wondering to myself what I could write about in my blog today. Nothing new or exciting has really been going on and I was hoping to possibly break my streak of writing entries about absolutely nothing. Then, just when it seemed that all was lost, I stopped at 1010 Bistro in the Westdale Village to drop off a resume (queue forboding music dun dun dunnn)
So I go inside the bistro and talk to some of the chef staff about available positions and to give them one of my resumes. I then walked outside to get back into my car, and guess what?
No, seriously, guess!
Come on, guess!!
Okay, okay, I couldn't find my keys. Where did they go? Oh, there they are...right in the ignition!! Right where I left them! So I'll just open the door and get into the car and drive off into the sunset, right? Right?
Wrong.
How come?
Because I locked the motherfucking doors, that's why. All the doors. And I made sure I rolled up the windows all nice and tight because it's been raining all day.
Raining?
Fucking right, raining.
Okay, okay, so then I try to think rationally about what to do. I don't have CAA and the GM Roadside Assistance expired in 2002. So I decide to start calling everyone I know to come and help me, starting with Mark. Mark says that he'll phone his dad and ask him to come and get me. No problem. Then Mark calls me back and says, "Ok so my Dad is going to come and get you but he has to eat dinner first. Just sit tight because after he gets there, calls CAA and gets the door open, it could be two or three hours".
Say what?
For the love of Zeus, it's raining!
Just then, I leaned on the driver's side back window and it slid down about a quarter of an inch. I swear, if ever there was a time when a ray of light and voices singing hallelujah was entirely appropriate, this was it. I tried to push it down further, but no dice. So then I went into The Bean Bar and the blessed ladies working there were kind enough to donate a coat hanger. At first, I was a little concerned that people would see me trying to jimmy the lock through the window and get the crazy idea that I was trying to steal the car. As it turns out, I look a lot less 'stealthy car jacker' and a lot more 'desperate victim of her own stupidiy' because a nice Mac student came over to help. With the assisstance of this lovely post-grad, I got the hanger in through the tiny space and flipped the lock open (insert mpeg footage of happy dance here). She most definitely has erased her karmic debt today, wherever she is.
So there you go. They say that life works in mysterious ways. When I woke up this morning, I had nothing to write about my blog. Now, a mere eight hours later, I have an entry filled with suspense and intrigue that includes the full range of emotions: Tears, Anger, Laughter, the works!
Well...for me, anyway.
I'll end this with a point of etiquette:
Do I have to return the coat hanger to The Bean Bar? Seriously, because it's all bent to shit now.
posted by diadima at 6:13 PM
1 Comments:
well, that stink .. you locked yourself out, and then had to endure the rain .. thank goodness you're not working for ibm in europe - 10k people are expected to get the pink slip!
best wishes on the job hunt. i actually love job hunting, you get to explore possibilities.
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