I burned your green guitar pick and the chemical smell of plastic reminded me of your heart

Here are the instructions:

1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying "Interview me." "Blow me" or "Eat me" are not acceptable substitutes.

2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different. I'll post the questions in the comments section of this post.

3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.

4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.

5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

The answers to my questions (courtesy of the delighfully demure Ubermilf)

1. Who is your arch-nemesis (real or fictional)?

I like to think of an arch-nemesis as being someone's opposite- the one person who can bring you down despite all other successes. In this case, my arch-nemesis is Donavan (my version of TEO, Uber). I'd go into detail, but I don't really need anymore hate-IM's from him. I'll just say this- despite all attempts at forgiveness and forgetting, this person will go down in my life as that one, single stain on a record of invulernability. He is masterful in the art of getting me to do/say/feel/think things that I never believed myself capable of, and not in a positive way.

2. Name 3 condiments in your refrigerator.

Pesto, Mustard and Mayo (just in case Nick/Mister Underhill ever come over for sandwiches, they LOVE mayo...luuuurve it)

3. Would you tell a complete stranger he/she had a stain on his/her ass?

I would say yes, except that when I was at the passport office last year, there was a woman in line in front of me who had a terribly embarassing stain on her white skirt and I wanted to say something because I felt really bad for her, but then I didn't. I can't explain it. I guess I'm a jerk. So I guess my answer to this question is, No, I would leave them to suffer complete and utter humiliation as hordes of passers-by pointed and laughed diabolically at them.

4. Describe your worst hair disaster.

My worst hair disaster is probably the time that I had dreads. They were cool at the time, but I quickly got tired of looking like a dirtbag, so I decided to try and brush them out. Let's just say that I ended up brushing out half of the hair on my head. In addition, it took weeks and weeks to shampoo that waxy dreadlock shit out of what was left of my hair. Word to the wise- dreads are a full-on lifetime commitment and the only way to get them out after they've set is to shave your head. Think before you back-comb.

5. Which would you eliminate if you only had one choice: poverty or pollution?

This is a tough question, but I would have to say poverty. I am a human rights activist first, and an enviro-hippie second. Crystal clear air would be enchanting, but it means nothing to the children who die of poverty related illness every day.