drowning or just waving?
i'm really bad at days off.
mostly what i mean by that is that i'm bad at days off alone. as i have no phone, no internet, no cable and no newspaper subscription to speak of, i am literally cut off completely from the civilized world (if you can call hamilton civilized...which i normally don't, but will- for the sake of this explanation). all that considered, i always feel like i'm in the middle of some bad dream on my days off when i nothing/no one to see/do. not a nightmare, by any stretch- just one of those weird bad dreams that always involve people from the office who you can't look in the eye at lunch time for a week or so afterward. i guess the bottom line is that i just feel bored. also- i'm annoyed with myself at how inadequate i have become at passing the time when i'm stuck with myself for the day. in fact, just reading over that last sentence has me feeling a bit bored and inadequate already.
let's move on before i lose the will to live, shall we?
i went to see brokeback mountain this evening. the whole story going on there just made me feel sad and further depressed about my current living situation. i love how everyone is always patting me on the back and pinching my cheeks, telling me how wonderful and fabulous it is to be young and out on your own and how i should cherish this time because i'll look back on it in years to come as some gloriously freeing experience and blah blah blah.
anyway.
my goal for the month is to learn how to just be alone- without feeling lonely.
mostly what i mean by that is that i'm bad at days off alone. as i have no phone, no internet, no cable and no newspaper subscription to speak of, i am literally cut off completely from the civilized world (if you can call hamilton civilized...which i normally don't, but will- for the sake of this explanation). all that considered, i always feel like i'm in the middle of some bad dream on my days off when i nothing/no one to see/do. not a nightmare, by any stretch- just one of those weird bad dreams that always involve people from the office who you can't look in the eye at lunch time for a week or so afterward. i guess the bottom line is that i just feel bored. also- i'm annoyed with myself at how inadequate i have become at passing the time when i'm stuck with myself for the day. in fact, just reading over that last sentence has me feeling a bit bored and inadequate already.
let's move on before i lose the will to live, shall we?
i went to see brokeback mountain this evening. the whole story going on there just made me feel sad and further depressed about my current living situation. i love how everyone is always patting me on the back and pinching my cheeks, telling me how wonderful and fabulous it is to be young and out on your own and how i should cherish this time because i'll look back on it in years to come as some gloriously freeing experience and blah blah blah.
anyway.
my goal for the month is to learn how to just be alone- without feeling lonely.
posted by diadima at 12:18 AM
8 Comments:
We should change places.
I've actually fantasized about hiding in my backyard, never to be found.
I have an entire little college town to explore yet strangely enough Im bored. I get so fucking bored that I'll just talk to the TV and allow it to comfort me until I sleep. Ohhh the green and blue flickers, how they mesmerize the senses. I dare not read the last sentence again!
I think we all can agree, Anthony, that you being silent is something we've all daydreamed about.
Snap!
ubie: i'm sure you'd miss dilf and the ubergirls enough to not remain long in the back yard
cheyenne: it's the whole 'alone in a crowd' mentality
anthony + nick: now now boys, let's not resort to insults shall we?
i get it dia.
holy shit, peeps!
we are canadian
any of ya ever heard of ALCOHOL?
great cure for boredom, among other things
Dia: become an alcoholic or a drug addict and quit yer whining about being bored, ok?
Hello Adria my love,
I lost my cellphone so I don't have your phone number to call you and thank-you for the flowers. Orchids are my favorite, especially blue ones. It was such a beautiful gesture, I just started to cry on my doorstep when I saw them.
Thankyou
Emily
That is a great goal by the way. :-)
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