never be the same

spring has sprung.

today was beautiful- but the night air is still clinging to that winter bite. i walked to the internet cafe tonight and as i was rounding the corner, i burst into a coughing fit. my throat was so constricted from the cold air (the cigarette smoke i was inhaling could ostensibly be factored in as well) that i sounded like a toy poodle with its voicebox removed. it was ridiculous/hilarious/tragic.

anyone who saw me on the street tonight owes me money for the show.

so today is the day.
the day where my head fills up with water again and you float in with the tide. away at sea for three weeks, believe me- i noticed you missing.

there is a mark.
underneath my skin. deep down, beneath sheets of muscle and tissue. there's the outline of your fingerprint. this blueprint, this imprint, this fingerprint- every line and curve, each unique ridge pressed in and tattooed on my spine. left behind from the first time you held me by the waist and said, "careful, or we'll get attached".

too late
too late
it's too late.

i'll never be the same.